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    落筆情人淚

      無意間看到你的留言,你說想我了,兩年沒見到我了,想看看我,你說永遠不會忘記我,到死也不會,是這樣嗎?你在想我嗎?可是,我并不想見到你,你為什么要記著我呢?其實,我們之間什么都不是,充其,只不過,算什么呢,彼此生命中的過客已,是生命需要走過的一個臺階而已,是一段路過的風景,多了一絲點綴而已。其次什么都不是,至少,現在我是這樣認為的,我不會當你是我的誰,因為一切都已經不存在了,除了虛偽的謊言,你還留下了什么?我后悔曾經認識你,憎恨那一段相處的日子,我不愿想到你的摸樣,你的表情,不愿想到你曾經說過的每一句話語,不愿再知道關于你的一切,那種場合,那種畫面,讓我心里很堵,嘔的我想要吐血,我憎恨曾經的曾經,憎恨那一切的一切。我告訴自己,我一定會忘掉你,包括你的名字,我永遠都不會再提起,所以省略了對你的稱呼,因為你的名字已經沒必要再記著,懂嗎?我說的直白吧,不要自以為是的,想我,至于嗎?不覺得奢侈嗎?傷我心的人,他的心一定會更傷,千倍,萬倍,一個背負良心信諾的人,終生會背負精神的鐐銬,直到死亡……

      ——題記

    落筆情人淚

      錯落年間,在那個憂傷的季節,在那個人們歡喜的春節,在那個不經意的日子里,我認識了你,你說不要消極傷悲,不要哭泣落淚,天塌下來了,有比你我更高的個撐著,一定要活下去,你說,前行的路并不那么黑暗渺茫,只要堅信方向,就一定可以走向陽光,你說,來到你身邊吧,你一生都會對我好,你會疼我,愛我,給我你生命中,你全部的愛,我接受了你的追求,接受了偶遇的緣分,為了你那所謂真誠的一千元路費,我從深圳來到了你的所在,一個偏遠的小城市,第一次相見,可以說一見鐘情吧,你非常感動的對我說,萍,我愛你,真的好喜歡,你嫁給我吧!無論發生了什么,你堅信我們的婚姻一定會走下去,你信諾誓言的對我說,萍,永遠不會離開你,除非我離開,你永遠都不會改變,你說,就算我把你氣的吐血,你都不會離開我。

      那夜,看著你滿目的真誠,我接受了你,那一夜,我們的身心融在一起,我們是甜蜜的,幸福的,次日,你請所有的朋友喝酒,你對朋友說,你要結婚了,你愛我!非我不娶,那時你的話語很感動,在那一刻,我感覺我們是幸福的,發自內心,那夜,你喝了很多酒,卻不忘去見我的家人。

      當我的家人,很認真的談到結婚,你和你的媽媽卻沉默不語,你們一定認為,我的家人會無所不談的將我送給你,你們只是口語說說,我就可以隨你們回家了,是嗎?那么我的自尊呢,何在?我家人的臉面何在?

      為此,我很傷心,續日我返回了深圳上班,朋友對我說,來到了大城市,就不要在回到小城市,我說好,一定不在回到小城市,可是看著你的簡信,一個接一個的電話,影響到我不能正常上班,你痛哭流涕,撕心裂肺的對我說,萍,你回來吧!我一定給你一個滿意的婚禮,一定名言正順的娶我回家,給及我所謂的面子與自尊,你肯求著,痛哭著,述說著,你的思念,你的愛。

      我被你感動了,我答應了你,愿意你來深圳接我回家,幾日后,你風塵仆仆的趕到深圳,見到你,我的心在那一刻被你融化了,我再次接受了你,給予你所需要的,我全部的愛,那夜,我們盡情的瘋著,愛著,擁有著,幸福著,恩愛的,纏綿著,忘乎所有。

      那時,滿腦勾勒的是幸福的未來,是一生一世的相依相伴,不離不棄,向往著我們美麗的家園。

      幾日后,放棄了工作,離開了繁華的深圳,隨你來到偏遠的小城市,過著布衣粗食的生活,平平談談,無數次我問自己,這是我想要的生活嗎?每日除了洗衣做飯,無所事事,沒有了生活的佛點,而后,你卻格外忙碌著,我不太喜歡的生意,似乎與我格格不入,似乎心隔著千山萬水的距離,無法跨越。

      在后來,你似乎忘記了我們所約定的婚約,只字不在提起,從此,我看到了你的虛偽,看到了你虛偽掩飾的內心,我問自己,這是愛嗎?是家嗎?一個出租屋,沒有婚禮,沒親人的祝福,沒名沒份,算什么!

      感覺向往的家是那么的卑微,從骨子到靈魂受到了無限嘲刺,我感受到了骨子的冰冷,與無奈的心寒。

      就這樣在半年的時光里,你終于對我說,家里還沒有蓋房子,生意又很差,家里老人要養,小孩要讀書,就這樣簡單的過吧!我感覺從沒有過的羞辱和欺騙,讓我窒息,為什么要給我承諾呢!

      連一份婚姻都給不起我,讓我怎么面對家人呢?為什么這樣心心不相融呢!

      這樣的心情讓我崩潰,于此,我們的命運改變了,我們開始了無休止的爭吵,電腦摔壞了,房間所有的東西都摔壞了,我選擇了離開,我想你會挽留我,可是你沒有,你對朋友說,我一定離不開你,一定會回到你身邊,那樣的話語,那樣的表情,讓我絕望,我一度窒息,離開了你,踏上了回家的歸程,刺骨的寒風,穿透了我的心,好冷,冷的使我心寒無助。

      心里很堵,嘔的我想要吐血,為什么要騙我,為什么要這樣對我,昔日的誓言算什么?你說的,會給我一個滿意的婚禮,可你為什么要負我,要背棄你的承諾,所以,我恨你,在轉身的那一瞬間,我堅信自己,永遠不再回頭,不會再多看你一眼,因為是多么的不值,付出的是全部,可又換取到什么,你的真誠嗎?

      你還有什么顏面對我說,想我,你摸摸自己的良心愧疚嗎?在一起的日子我是怎么對你的,你連一個低頭挽留都沒有,我談何想你,你又站在什么立場讓我去想你?

      一年相處的日子,最終我們什么都不是,充其算是情人吧!因為我不想詆毀什么。

      只是給那段情一個名詞而已,我們沒有事實的婚姻,沒有我們的家園,沒有志堅不渝愛情,只是錯落年間,一段錯落的,不被惦念的一段情而已,一杯苦咖啡而已。

      錯就錯在,在錯的時間,遇到了錯的你,所以,錯,錯,錯!!!

      再見了!遠方的你,今生今世都不會再記掛你,今生無緣,來生無約!保重!別了……

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