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    完不完美,取決于心靈的狀態

      有人問我,你覺得自己完美嗎?我告訴他,我覺得自己很完美。因為,完不完美,是心的感受。心快樂,人就快樂;心幸福,人就幸福。一切取決于心。

    完不完美,取決于心靈的狀態

      好多人覺得自己不完美、不幸福,往往是因為貪婪。比如,當他看到長得比他俊的人,就覺得自己的長相不完美;當他看到開奔馳的人,就覺得自己的破摩托不完美;當他看到省長、省委書記時,就覺得自己這個小科長不完美;當他看到別人的女朋友時,就覺得自己的孤獨不完美……所有的不完美,其實都是貪欲在作怪。如果沒有這些貪欲,就無所謂完美,還是不完美。

      好多東西都像過眼云煙,僅僅是某個瞬間、某個階段的一種現象,很快就會消失,包括人的肉體。這時,重要的不是追求完美的外在,或者完美的生活,而是追求一種可以相對永恒的東西。當你明白這一點時,自然就會逃離貪欲、貪婪的誘惑與糾纏,也就沒了好多失落。那么對你來說,只要健康,就是完美的;只要明白,就是完美的;只要心靈自在,就是完美的。所以,我覺得我是完美的。

      這時,哪怕一個人有生理缺陷——比如那些殘疾人——只要他有一顆明白的心,他得到的快樂、幸福,也不會比健全者更少。因為,幸福與否,取決于心靈的感受。所以我常說,清明于當下,觸目隨緣,快樂無憂。

      人的一生,是由一個個當下組成的,就像一塊塊磚頭,構成了生命的大廈。抓住每一個當下的快樂,就構成了快樂的人生;抓住每一個當下的幸福,就構成了幸福的人生;抓住每一個當下的明白,就構成了明白的人生。要想活得幸福,就要珍惜現在,抓住當下。

      如果你覺得不快樂,覺得世界對你的態度變了,就說明你生起了分別心,也就是諸如善惡、好壞、高低、貧富、大小之類的對立概念。執著這些概念的必然結果,就是陷入煩惱與痛苦。

      比如,有的人本來活得很開心,后來他發現,所有同學都有車有房,只有他帶著老婆住在親戚家里,于是變得很自卑,甚至嫉妒那些有錢的同學,變得非常痛苦。他的痛苦是別人造成的嗎?不是的。令他痛苦的,是貧富的二元對立。實際上,別人有車有房是別人的事,他既不缺吃,又不少穿,還有個愿意住在他親戚家里的老婆,有啥好痛苦的?人只要知足,并且盡力做好該做的事情,就不會覺得痛苦。大部分痛苦,都是比出來的。沒有比較,沒有算計,沒有衡量,就沒有痛苦。

      最矛盾的是,雖然好多人都知道,只要完善自己就能改變現狀,但他們寧愿時不時發泄一下情緒,也不愿改變一些東西。有時,這是因為懶惰;有時,這是一種不自信的表現;但更多的時候,這源于一種對未知的恐懼。就算一種生活很糟糕,只要它還沒觸及底線,我們活得下去,而且活得還算輕松,偶爾可以享受一下,很多人就會選擇妥協。換句話說,比起改變,他們更傾向于逃避。

      我說過,每個人都能找到借口和理由,但借口和理由無法解決問題。比如,你的傷口感染了,但你不愿理它,因為你不想去醫院,不想定時吃藥,也不想戒口。那么,感染就會越來越嚴重,一個小小的水泡可能會感染你全身的皮膚,這時你再去治療,就要花費更多的工夫,人也更受苦。明白了嗎?所以,我們不該逃避一些讓自己陷入苦惱和困境的問題。

      例如,當某人的女朋友比你的女朋友漂亮,你又比那人出色時,你可能會覺得不服氣,但你一定要明白,這說明你有二元對立,而不是說你該去追求一個更美的女孩;當你的朋友沒給你帶來任何好處,某人的朋友卻幫他實現了很多愿望時,你可能會很不甘心,但你必須明白,這說明你是功利的,而不是說你該去結交一些更有權勢的朋友。在現實生活中,這樣的例子還有很多。

      有些人本來很享受單身生活,但他發現別人都有女朋友之后,就覺得自己很寂寞,甚至懷疑自己對愛情的向往,想隨便找個有好感的女孩談戀愛。因為他心里生起了貪欲,他覺得,要是也有人愛我該多好?當他滿足不了這種貪欲時,內心就會產生一種落差,變得非常痛苦。這種落差是什么呢?是期待與現實之間的距離,也是一切痛苦的來源。

      比如,一些人看到同學在開寶馬,自己卻在騎破自行車時,就覺得沒面子,覺得自己很寒酸。事實上,他不一定需要寶馬車,騎自行車可能會讓他更健康。那些去哪兒都開寶馬的人,弄不好會肥胖,甚至出現脂肪肝、高血壓、心腦血管疾病等諸多健康問題,因為他們缺乏運動。但是,當一個人心里充滿貪婪時,是看不到這些東西的,他只知道自己的欲望沒有得到滿足。

      有個年輕的朋友告訴我,上大學時,她每個月只有幾百塊零花錢,但她過得很快樂。后來參加工作,工資只有一千多,她仍然過得很快樂。直到有一天,她發現嫂子的衣服全是名牌,就覺得自己很寒酸。其實她不知道,對不懂名牌、不追逐名牌的人來說,衣服的牌子沒有任何意義。她的生命,也根本不需要這種揮金如土。但對比產生的失落,卻讓她嫌棄自己的衣服,嫌棄自己的打扮,還埋怨男朋友不給自己提供同樣的生活。

      西部文化不提倡這種心理模式,它告訴我們,每個人的生命都不需要太多東西。一天有三頓飯,一年有幾套衣,人就能活得很好。如果能擁有更多的東西,當然也很好,但沒有也沒什么不好。因為,西部人不追求這些東西,他們追求活著的理由,他們更關注自己這輩子是干什么來的,什么才是人生的意義。找到了這個答案,他們就會用生命去守住它。守不住時,他們寧可不活;守得住時,他們就能忍受物質上的一切匱乏。

      每個人其實都是這樣。一旦你靈魂中出現了一種追問,而且找到了答案時,你就會容忍,甚至舍棄與它無關的一切。因為你很明白,它才是你人生的目標,是你生命中最重要的東西。社會上的頂尖精英們,大多在很小的時候,就思考過這個問題。所以,他們很清楚什么對自己最重要,他們會用一生的時間來守住這個東西,來實現這個目標。

      假如我們每個人都能做到這一點,我們自己也罷,我們的生活也罷,都會變得非常完美。不過,這種完美仍然不體現于物質,它體現于心靈的明白、充實和富足。

      ——選自《光明大手印:智慧人生》雪漠 著 中央編譯出版社

      作家簡介:雪漠,原名陳開紅,甘肅涼州人。國家一級作家,甘肅省作家協會副主席。三度入圍“茅盾文學獎”,榮獲“馮牧文學獎”等獎項,連續六次獲敦煌文藝獎,代表作有“大漠三部曲”“靈魂三部曲”“故鄉三部曲”等。作品入選《中國文學年鑒》《中國新文學大系》以及長篇小說《野狐嶺》入選大學本科教材《大學語文》閱讀推薦書目。

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