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    有一種愛,我不想讓你知道

      你有沒有在某一瞬間,忽然很想嫁給一個人?

      小蓓說,她有。

      就在昨天。

    有一種愛,我不想讓你知道

      1、有一種愛,不想讓你知道

      她約了男友一起晚飯,結果臨下班,被通知緊急開會。

      倆小時的會開完,小蓓匆忙趕到餐館,見到男友在等,很歉意,說等很久了吧?

      男友愉快地說,沒,我也剛到。

      開開心心吃完飯,倆人開車走,付停車費時,小蓓發現男友的車五點就計時了。

      她奇怪:你等了我兩個多小時?

      男友有點不好意思,說是,本來沒想告訴你。

      小蓓心生感動,覺得男友真是個好人。當下有種“就嫁他了”的沖動。

      姐姐跟姐夫戀愛時,也有這么一次。

      當時我老媽要吃一種藥,姐姐讓姐夫去買。一周后,姐夫把藥拎來了。我們后來才從朋友那得知,這藥特別難買,姐夫是拐了七八個彎,托熟人的熟人的熟人買的,中間費了很多周折,打了幾十通電話,光車站就跑了三趟。

      但這些麻煩,姐夫都只字未提。姐姐問,他也輕描淡寫地說,咳,沒啥。

      姐姐說,你搭這么多辛苦,應該告訴我嘛。

      姐夫說,不想讓你知道。

      現在想想,這句“不想讓你知道”,真是一句極動人的情話。

      因為它透露了一個男人心里滿滿的愛意——我做這件事,唯一的目的就是讓你高興,而不是贏得你的好感、證明我的能力、讓你對我感恩戴德,所以,我不想讓你知道我的付出,不想讓你對我懷有歉意和內疚,更不想因此獲得什么回報。

      我只是心甘情愿地想為你做點什么,因為我愛你。

      這才是真愛吧。

      2、夸大的愛,都是套路

      以前有個讀者,說她男朋友特別小氣,還不誠實。請她吃頓飯要念叨很久,給她買禮物,花一百要說成三百,幫她做論文翻譯,明明一小時就搞定了,非要說是熬了個通宵。

      她屢次發現他的馬腳,對他十分失望。

      這是不是人品有問題?她問我。

      我倒是覺得,除了人品堪憂,這個男生可能也不夠愛她,所以才斤斤計較于自己的付出,為她花一點錢一點精力就心里不平衡,要變本加厲地討回來。

      可能很多人都遇到過類似的戀人——跟你約會,他明明也是剛到,卻非說等了很久。他明明是順路買了打折的花給你,卻非說是跑了很遠精挑細選買來的。他明明一點也不忙,卻非說是推了各種事情來陪你。

      他為你做了一點什么,就要夸大其詞地告訴你,讓你愧疚,讓你感激,讓你以后對他更好。

      這種耍花招玩貓膩的男人,說到底,是私心太重,他對你的付出,都是為了得到你的報償,他可能也愛你,但他對你的愛,純度和誠意都不夠,或者說,他愛自己遠勝過愛你。

      這些,你可能只是隱約覺得不對勁,卻想不清楚怎么回事。

      而倘若你幸運,之后又遇到真心誠意愛你的人,你定會驚覺,人與人之間,愛與愛之間,有云泥之別。

      3、這才是真愛你的人

      我們往往都是在遇到對的人之后,才看清那些錯的人。

      那個總是添油加醋告訴你,他為你做了什么的人,將來你們遇到利益沖突,他一定最先考慮他自己。

      而那個“生怕你知道我對你的付出”的人,會愿意犧牲自己的利益,去滿足你。

      因為“滿足你”這件事本身,就能帶給他快樂。

      如果一個人,默默地盡己所能去滿足你的需要,而付出再多,也絕口不提。

      從無不滿抱怨,也從不邀功求賞。

      他只想自己承擔那辛苦,不想你內疚虧欠有壓力。

      他只愿你快樂。

      那么,他一定是真愛你的人。

      作者簡介:李月亮,專欄作家,著有《愿你的生活,既有軟肋又有盔甲》等。微信公眾號“李月亮(ID:bymooneye)”,深入解讀情感、婚姻、生活、人性,探尋理性、優雅、有品質、有力量的生存之道,歡迎關注。

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